DILAPIDATED

There you are again.

Alone in the dark...

Just like before.

     As if the darkness gives you comfort. You feel as if there's only one thin line that separates you from reality to fantasy. That your sanity will surrender anytime from now. Melancholic. Yeah, that’s what you are. You feel severe loneliness inside you. And it slowly eating you up. But for you, it always felt good. To be alone. To cry alone. To laugh alone. As if it was the very best solution to what you feel. They say you can read minds. Do you? Or it was just your thoughts that were trapped inside you. Luckily got out just in time. They say you can let other's feelings let go. Can you really do that? Or it was you who wanted somebody to let your feelings go? It was you who needed somebody's help? What happened then? You thought you were strong. You thought you have a lot of confidence. And they thought so, too. But it was just a big lie. All of it was a lie. You just imagine it. You just create it. You tell the whole damn world that you have a beautiful mind. That you understand every tiny bit of the things that surrounds you. You hear them but you're deaf yourself. You feel them but you’re numb. You love others but you're mad at yourself. You're mad for who you are.

The darkness began to fade. And lights are slowly showing up. You feel it. And you are scared of it. And you choose to hide.

Far, far behind.

Until no one sees you.

Until no one ever hear about you.

But that’s what you thought.

They can hear you....

They can see you.

And they pity you.

Coz you're lost.

Far lost from reality.

.....

DELAPIDATED--

Having fallen into a state of disrepair or deterioration, as through neglect; broken-down and shabby