Birthday month, busy month

Every year before my birthday came, I always had this moment where I look into the past year and review what development I had in my life. And as always, it kinda disappoint me because many things although not all, did not came true as I expect.


Although my friends and family, wanted to celebrate my birthday, I myself want a different one. I always had time with my family and friends, even if my schedules are tight. But with my birthday, I always wanted to spent it all alone, by myself. It is because this is my only time for myself. To reminisce, to evaluate, to plan for myself.


My father insist I should go home and celebrate with them. But I insist I will not. I said I will come home, but not on this day. I needed time for myself. I guess every body does. This past few days I was so loaded with work and deadlines that I needed to stay late in the office to comply with it. And for this month I still have tons to do. Audits, projects and deadlines to meet. That is why this birthday blog is published late.


So I woke up late on my birthday. I just lay down, enjoying the sun rays coming from my window. I can plan a lot of things for myself on this day but I chose not to. I said to myself, I will get up when I want to. This is my day and I think I had my right to do whatever I want.


My phone keeps beeping and ringing, from friends and families that remembered my big day. I thank them with all my heart. I am so touched with their kind words and greet. I answered them back as soon as I can. I was so happy they remembered my birthday.


Im so old to have a diary, but I still keep a notebook with me to write anything on it. My projects, my to do's, my wishlist, my researches, my blogs, blog subjects and other things. I sometimes have a memory gap, I lost track of some things I wanted to do or planned to do. So I think of having a notebook where I could jot it down. Every birthday, I had one for myself. I wrote down the things I wanted to do for myself for the whole year, so when my next birthday came, I will check what are the things I accomplished so far.


Although I was kinda disappointed on my last years wishlist, but Im still on it. I jot down all of the things I wanted to do for the whole year, till my next birthday. Laughing it off, I write down my still number 1 wish, to lose weight. There are couple more wishlists but I will keep it to my self for now. I have a strong feeling I will hit this wish this time.


So for now, happy birthday to me! Cheers!

The sunset

I dont know you, but I find it enchanting to see the sun setting. This shot is from our office building rooftop just beside the executive boardroom. It was kinda late in the afternoon when I called my parents I will not be home for weekend to finish some projects. It was a very hectic day for me and seeing a beautiful sunset is a quick refreshment for me. I love sunset. I found solitude and peace whenever I saw it. I dont have a good camera to capture the best image at the moment but the feeling I felt while gazing them is irreplaceable. Once again, I am renewed. Refreshed.

I remember a line from an old poem I wrote when I was in high school.

"When the yellow touches the blue

I knew then that I will think of you"

Whenever I saw the yellow sun setting from the blue horizon, I fell inlove. For a thousand times.

Crossed fingers for Venus Raj!

After the hostage drama that happened yesterday, Maria Venus Raj, the candidate that will represent Philippines in Miss Universe 2010 beauty pageant will be facing critics and draw attention of all audiences and judges of the said pageant. I am sure that all the judges in this beauty pageant will be all eyes and ears to Venus. One of the questions she needs to answer is how to promote tourism on the country. Or how will she contribute to the trainings of PNP policemen in assault. One thing is certain for Venus, she has now the attention she needed for this pageant. What needs to be determine is the negative or positive effect of this event for her. Be careful V, let your wisdom and beauty prevail!

Viral Infection

I befriend my bed the whole week because of Viral infection. I thought it was an ordinary fever. But when it reaches to 40degree, I said to myself, it's something serious. For two days I was in bed with fever, my whole body is aching, I literally have a running nose (nonstop) and with a dry cough. I waited until the second day when I can finally stand up that I decided to go to the hospital. The doctor do the usual interview asking series of questions regarding how I feel at the moment. I am sure I gave them enough of my information. When they got my temperature, they immediately make me lie on the hospital bed (which I hate the most). I hate the fact that I am lying there coz it gives me chills. I do not want to entertain what runs into my head. It was my instinct to call my friend and I was lucky he was on his way home and I ask him to accompany me. The doctor want me to take some solid food before they gave me medicine. I just had cereal that morning and a half rice on lunch, and since its already 7:00pm, it is obvious I needed to have some heavy meal for the moment. Which makes it again, difficult for me because Im in the hospital and my appetite is not that good when Im here. I decided to just take a bite of Skyflakes and some water. They gave me Ponstan 500g (paracetamol) and insist that I lay down. Later that evening they get my CBC to check if it is not dengue that caught me. From time to time the nurse check my temperature. From 40deg to 39.5, that is better I said to myself. I dont want to stay in the hospital. I waited for a couple of minutes more. I notice the empty ER when I enter the hospital was starting to be occupied now. The nurse approach me again with a towel. She pat it gently on my face, I told her I'll do it myself. Im not used to be taking care like that when I have the energy to do it myself. Three hours had passed, then I got up and started to walk my way to the nurse station. "Mam, san po kayo pupunta?, the nurse asked me. "I wanted to know my CBC result and I want to have my temperature be test again. I wanted to go home and I know I cant do it without your permission." I told her nonstop. I really really want to go home. "Ok na po madam yung CBC ninyo, antayin na lang po natin ang advise ng doctor." The nurse explained. I nodded and I got back to my bed. It was so uncomfortable there. The doctor and nurses are so accommodating but I really dont feel like staying in the hospital. When the doctor approach me, he explained some things to me and advise me to take a rest for another 3 days. He advise me to continue my paracetamol intake and included Vitamin C and Ambroxol on my prescription.

It was a simple viral infection, yes, but if we didnt take care of ourselves, we are putting our health at risk. Our immune system will be low and eventually our body will not work properly against those viruses.

Be aware of your surroundings. Be sure to sanitize as frequent as you can. You'll never know what viruses are present in the air and with the individuals you are dealing with.

My Mentor

It is always been a pleasure talking to you. I have no idea it is already past midnight. Everything you said is still in my mind and once again, you gave me hope and another inspiration to move on. Dealing with my problem seem to be a hopeless case for me. But hearing those words from you, it felt that I just made a wrong impression of everything. You put light into my path, giving a courage to continue my journey. Suddenly, it made a new meaning to me. A new challenge. A new goal. And I realize "hey, it wasnt that bad afterall!". I was reminded by two kinds of person. The fool and the wise. Again, you have given me not just information but wisdom. And I am so thankful for that.

This is what I have learn from tonight:

"When you think it's the end of the line, you are wrong. This is just the beginning of another goal."

"If plan A fails, there is always plan B and C and D..."

"When you plan, plan for the benefit of many, not just for one."

"Learn the art of war. You can benefit from you enemies too"

Anong pagbabago ang gusto ninyong ipangako ni PNoy sa kanyang SONA?

Sinagot ko ito sa isang social network site ng tanungin ng isang network channel para sa kanilang pagbabalita. Pagbabago sa sistema ng Edukasyon ang sagot ko. Dahil sinasabi natin na sa KABATAAN ANG PAGASA NG BAYAN, marapat lamang na sa kanila ituon ang malaking pagbabago. Upang iyon ang maging pamantayan nila sa paglaki at maging maayos ang kinabukasan ng bayan.


Sa bata, ang una nating itinuturo sa preschool ay ang ABAKADA. Bago tayo pumunta sa ibang aspeto ng edukasyon, itinuro muna sa atin ang alpabetong Pilipino. Sa elementary, ang mga basic education tungkol sa Siyensa, Matimatika, Ingles, Sibika at Kultura ang itinuturo. At pataas ng pataas ang antas o level ng edukasyon kapag dumating ka na sa Secondary at tritiary level. Ito ang pinaka training ground ng isang tao sa buhay. Kumbaga sa mga militar at pulis, may PMA o PNPA na pinapasukan ng bawat militar at pulis bago sila isabak sa labas. Ganundin sa isang estudyante bago ito sumabak sa totoong laban ng buhay.


Marapat lamang na ang Edukasyon ang pagbutihin o tutukan ng ating gobyerno upang maging maganda ang paghubog sa mga kabataan. Nang sa gayon, maging maayos at maingat sila sa kanilang mga ikikilos. Maiiwasan nila ang mga pagkakamali ng kanilang mga magulang. Hindi matularan ang mga maling kilos at maling desisyon sa buhay. Kung sapat ang kaalaman ng kabataan, hindi malabong mangyaring umunlad ang bansa.

Sabi nga nang pangulo, taong bayan ang lakas nya. Kaya dapat habang bata pa lang pag ibayuhin na ang lakas na manggagaling sa taong bayan sa pamamagitan ng kabataan.

Byaheng Edsa

Alas syete y media ng lumabas ako ng Opisina. Salamat naman at madali akong nakasakay at hindi siksikan sa jeep. Nagbayad ako agad para hindi ko makalimutan. Byaheng Edsa ang takbo namin. Sa loob ng jeep di ko napigilan tignan ang katapat kong babae. Namali ba ako ng nakita o sadyang umiiyak sya? Muli ko syang tinignan upang makasiguro. Mamasa masa ang mata nya na parang maiiyak. Ang kamay ay may hawak na panyong tumatakip sa kanyang bibig at ilong. Parang pinipigilan ang mapaiyak. Naisip ko na lang na baka inaantok lang at naghihikab kaya naluluha. Ibinaling ko sa labas ang aking tingin. Naiiling na napabuntong hininga dahil ang haba na naman ng trapik. Sa mahabang araw ng pagtatrabaho mo kung kelan uwing uwi ka na eh sasalubungin ka ng mahabang trapik.

Napapalatak ang isang mama sa aking kanan. Tinignan ko siya, naisip kong nagmamadali din siyang makauwi. Siguro ay naghihintay na sa kanya ang pamilya upang sabay sabay na kumain. Nakamaong sya at may bag pack na dala. Nakatsinelas lang siya at nakasumbrero ng pabaligtad. Sa hula koy isa syang laborer. Maitim din kasi ang balat nya na wari'y bilad sa araw. Panay ang silip niya sa labas ng bintana ng jeep at saka papalatak ng malakas.

Nung mga unang araw ng pag-upo ni pangulong Noynoy, napansin ko ang pagbabago sa trapiko at bahagyang lumuwag ito. Pero ngayon, mukhang bumabalik na naman sa dati. Ang dating kinse minutos na paglalakbay papuntang kapitolyo ay naging trenta minutos na.

Napatingin muli ako sa babae sa tapat ko. Ngayon mas tinalasan ko ang pagtingin. Napansin ko ang magandang make up sa kanyang mukha. Bagay dito ang kulay ng eye shadow nya. Naglalaro sa black-gray-silver ang mga kulay nito. Bagay na bagay sa maputi at makinis nyang mukha. "Smokey eyes" ang tawag sa eyeshadow na ito. Alam ko dahil gustong gusto ko ang ganitong eyeshadow. Halatang mamahalin ang make up nito dahil hindi nagugulo kahit patuloy na nababasa ng luha nito. Dito ko napansin na talagang lumuluha sya dahil tumagilid sya ng mapansin na nakatingin ako. Nahiya din akong bigla, alam kong hindi magandang tumitig sa kapwa lalo pa't di mo naman kakilala. Naisip ko lang, ano kayang iniiyak nya? Masyado ba itong malala at hindi na nya napigilan pa? Siguro ay nag-away sila ng boyfriend nya.

"Ay sus naman!" malakas at nakakagulat na sabi ng driver. Nainis sa sumingit sa kanya dahil muntik na namin masagi ang tagiliran nito. Kinalabit at hinawakan sya sa braso ng babaeng katabi nya na parang sinasabi nitong "cool ka lang". Napatingin ako sa salamin at tinitigan ko ang mag-asawa. Ang sweet naman nila. Ang lambing naman tignan na sinasamahan ng babae ang kanyang asawa sa pagdadrive nito. Sana lang ay wala silang naiwang mga anak sa bahay na maghihintay sa kanila. Lalong napalatak ang mamang nakasumbrero ng pabaligtad. Inip na inip at hindi na mapakali sa upuan. Sisilip sa bintana at titingin sa unahan. Maya maya ay sumandal ulit parang batang sumimangot, walang nagawa sa trapik. Ang katapat naman nitong lalaki ay tila walang pakialam at abala sa pakikipag usap sa telepono. Minsan tatawa, minsan pabulong magsalita at minsan pa ingles ingles pa. May isang babae din na mukhang sa call center nagtatrabaho dahil halatang bagong gising at bagong ligo pa. nakalugay ang basang basang buhok. Tignan mo nga naman ang buhay ng tao, ang iba ay pauwi na galing sa maghapong pagtatrabaho, ang iba naman ay papasok pa lang at mag-uumpisa pa lang ang araw.

Muli akong napatingin sa babaeng umiiyak na ngayon ay napansin kong nakablouse na puti at nakamini skirt na kulay navy blue. Sinipat ko kung may company tag ang kanyang blouse at nakita ko dun nakasulat ang "SM Appliance". Sales lady, sa isip isip ko. Baka hindi maganda ang araw nya ngayon. Tumagilid pa ulit sya ng upo, ngayon ay mas obvious na kasi ang kanyang pagluha dahil napansin na din ng katabi nyang kanina lang ay natutulog sa sobrang trapik. Nakagreen na barong ang lalaki at gray ang pants. Ang sapatos nito ay patulis na itim na itim. May dala itong leather clutch na nakapatong sa hita. Siguro ay nag oopisina rin ang isang ito at hindi katulad ng nakamaong at nakasumbrero ng pabaligtad, malamang na above minimum ang sinasahod nito. Nakahalukipkip ang mga kamay nito sa pagitan ng mga hita habang ang mga mata ay naglalakbay sa katabi. Hindi ko matiyak kung ang pag iyak ng babae ang tinitignan nya o ang malaking hinaharap nito na halatang halata sa puti nitong blusa. Ang mga lalaki nga naman, kung hindi sa mukha eh sa kung saang parte ng katawan ng babae tumitingin.

Tinignan ko isa isa ang mga kasakay ko sa jeep. Ganito pala kapag wala kang magawa at nasa kalagitnaan ka ng trapik. Madami kang mapapansin. Sa sampung kasama ko sa loob ng jeep nakabuo ako ng ilang kwento tungkol sa ilang karakter sa loob nito. Naisip kong iba ibang klase ng tao ang mga naririto. May nag-oopisina, may laborer, may broken hearted na sales lady, may cellphone addict, may mag-asawang masaya sa pagbabyahe, may call center agent at may isang tsismosang katulad ko.

Alas otso y dyes na ng mamataan ko ang Edsa. Hay, siguradong pasado Alas y nuebe na naman ako makakarating sa bahay nito. Buti na lang may mga kasama ka sa byahe na pwede mong gawing karakter sa isang kwento. Isang kwentong hango sa iba't ibang buhay ng tao sa loob ng byaheng ito.

LOVE IT LIKE THIS

love it like this, just like this
when no one has the chance to bother us
when we enjoy being together,
without worrying the world between us

just like this
your hands on mine, your eyes met mine
hearing each others breathe
moments we never regret

but as soon as the hands of the clock moves
seconds came as fast as it could
we know it will never be the same again
coz this is the end of the game

Just like this.